The day are forever gone when young ladies and women were accompanied by a chaperone and young men would ask the father for her hand in marriage, before he asked her. This however does not mean that chivalry or proper dating manners are out of style, just that they have changed a bit. If you are a little rusty on the rules or etiquette for dating, here is a refresher course to get you started. Keep in mind that these “rules” are basically for the first few dates, say 1-5, after that you should know each other well enough to determine if some rules of etiquette are unnecessary.
Pick Her Up?
Traditional dating would indicate that you should pick her up and drive to your destination. This is a good rule of thumb, with a caveat. If you met online either through social mediums or an online dating site, meeting in a public location may be the preferred modus operandi. No woman wants to be featured on the six o’clock news and while you may have hit it off online deep down she may have some reservations and prefer to play it safe.
Timing
Whatever you do, never be late for a first date without one heck of a defense! In fact, it would be better to be significantly early and wait in your car than be late. Every minute past your meeting or pick up time can be excruciating and will not set a jovial tone for the evening. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, particularly if you live in an urban area and there is a traffic jam or some other calamity strikes. Should this happen be sure to call as soon as you are able and explain the delay.
The Date
Are there topics that are strictly off-limits for your first few dates? Absolutely! Your crazy uncle Joe and your ex-girlfriend or wife are definite first date no-nos. It is also important that you are charming, kind and pay attention to what she is saying. Nothing is a bigger turn off than a guy who appears tuned out throughout the date. Other date tips include:
Choose an appropriate venue for talking- a crowded noisy club is not on this list
Pay for the date, modern ideals may state that women want to be seen as equals even in this department, but if you are unsure where she stands and you initiated the date, pay up!
Touching can be appropriate but you are going to have to watch carefully for signs, and do not overdo it. During the course of the evening she may brush your hand in conversation or during a particularly funny interlude, this is a green light that some touching is allowed.
Do you kiss the girl? Probably the number one question asked by dating men and the answer is, it depends. This is where your ability to read body language will come in to play. If the date seemed to go quite well and there was a spark, a good night kiss may be expected. An expectant pause on the door stoop or a slight “leaning in” are good indicators that the kiss is a go.
Final Thoughts
Dating often resembles a delicate dance at best or a cat and mouse game at worst, which leaves a lot of men confused on what is allowed and what is not. In all honesty, if you are unsure about proper dating etiquette let basic good manners guide your way. There will be certain instances where the rules of conduct are simply blown out of the water by a unique individual, which is where your manners are going to come into play.
Dating Etiquette for Men in the 21st Century - Dating
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